The Time Jim Broadbent Embarrassed Me at Church

Last night I dreamt that I was at church. I'm not sure it was The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, but a bunch of people from my real church were there. I was in front of a room full of people on folding chairs. (It was either Sunday School or a fifth-Sunday lesson like we had last week.) The problem was that I was being really inappropriate and talking about movies that I have no business watching and gay-culture lexicon that I have no business knowing. Everyone was really uncomfortable. I decided to leave the room in the middle of the lesson, but of course the meetinghouse was like a maze and I couldn't find my way around. (I've been stuck in this same church building in other dreams.)
Anyway, I was in the cultural hall when I realized that I'd forgotten to get my purse. It was still on my chair in the classroom. I couldn't find the classroom. I was down in a trench in the floor of the gym that was lined with green velveteen. Then Jim Broadbent showed up with my purse and an armful of everything that used to be in my purse. He dumped it all on the green velveteen shelf at my chin-level. One of the things that had been in my purse, apparently, was a box of Yaz birth control pills.

"I want to take your picture for the church newsletter," Jim Broadbent said, pulling out his SLR.

"Um, you probably don't want these in the shot," I said, trying to shift the Yaz box out of the frame.

"No, leave them where they are. We need to show the congregation that a good Christian girl could be taking birth control pills for other medical conditions."

"I don't think I'm your best example right now," I argued again. Besides, he was standing so far above me with that camera that I was going to look weird no matter what. And my hair was messed up. I wanted to just run away, but I was afraid he'd take the picture as I climbed out of the trench with my skirt hiked up.

Jim Broadbent said he didn't care, and then I woke up.