Things that Kinda Suck

• Thinking you are so awesome that you recognized someone's spirit-glow, and then finding out it was just your gaydar going off.
• Receiving the cellphone number of a guy on three separate occasions because he really wanted you to have it and still knowing you will never, ever call him.
• Getting sorta-but-not-really asked out in the vaguest Facebook message ever: "Also wondered are you leaving soon and won't be in the [Pacific Northwest] ward to go to school? Reason I'm asking I wondered if you wanna hang out and do something if you have time or perhaps watch general conference on my big screen tv or something else?" (What is that? Does he want me to call him and say, "Yeah, we should go see the seven o'clock showing of Whip It tomorrow at the Battle Ground Cinema"? Sorry, I don't even know him well enough t0 like him well enough to ask him out. I have to at least kissed a guy a few times before I'll break the Rules like that. Of course, then there's the alternative possibility that his completely harmless friendly gesture just happens to resemble certain other people's wishy-washy date proposals, in which case I'd seem really stupid to take it as anything else.)
  
• Seeing a picture of a straight-laced Mormon kid you used to know with a tattoo that covers his whole chest, one tattoo sleeve, and enormous plugs.
• Keeping up with your relatives—even your parents—through the political chain emails they send you: "Send this to everyone you know and then write your representative to tell them all congressmen should live off Social Security!"