The Time I Defeated Satan with a Spanish Bible

My dream last night was pretty boring, so today I'm going to talk about a crazy-detailed dream I had during my mission:


In the dream my mother was sending me on a mission, but it wasn't a missionary mission. It was a mission to retrieve buried treasure from inside the underwater skeleton of a giant sea snake. She helped me prepare for the dive in a creepy blue-tinged forest that looked like the forest where the Puritans take the human sacrifice in the Breaking Benjamin video "So Cold" (which I haven't seen for years, by the way). I suited up in full scuba gear (which I have never worn in my life). She packed my waterproof backpack with a plastic box of crayons and her special compact 1960 Reina-Valera Bible, which she bought in Seville during her mission, in a watertight plastic bag. Then I dove into the cold, dark water and swam down to the bottom of the cove, guided only by my headlamp.

underwater treasure by nicolshe, deviantART

At the bottom of the cove, as expected, I found the skeleton of a giant ancient sea snake. It's body was much wider in diameter than I am tall, so it must have been about eight feet or so. Between its teeth I swam, and I found gold coins carpeting what had been the bottom of its mouth. They shone from within, so the whole skeletal mouth, which was at least as large as a walk-in closet, was bathed in watery golden light. In the center of the sea of coins was a large, lidless chest containing gold coins, red jewels, and white pearls. I felt drawn to an onyx necklace from which dangled some sort of amulet—something that would bind Satan's power for all eternity. As I reached for it, the skeleton of the sea snake's tongue came to life. The end of the tongue bone was flat, shovel-shaped, and sharp, like a ceremonial spear. It lashed at me, trying to crush me or slice me in half.

Leaving the amulet in the chest, I twisted my way out of the snake's mouth only to be confronted with the Devil. He was a dark shadowy shape in the water. He was trying to keep me from resurfacing. I shot him with a harpoon, but it zipped right through his ethereal shape without harming him. How do I fight Satan? I asked myself. Of course, read the scriptures!

However, in order to read the special heirloom Spanish Bible my mother had given me, I would have to take it out of the plastic bag, ruining it forever. Unwilling to destroy the book, I picked it up, still in its watertight cover, and slashed at Satan with it. He dissolved into nothing, and I woke up.