Dating Rules for My Sister, who is going to BYU this fall

These rules are not about finding an eternal companion, they are just about being comfortable with the guy who took you out. They stem from sad experience.

1. Never date a guy who cannot take the sacrament. (I'm serious about this—watch him at church.)
2. Never date a guy who does not hold a current temple recommend, unless he's a new convert working towards holding a temple recommend. (This is harder to ascertain. Just be sure to dump him if you ever find out he does not have a current temple recommend.)
3. Never date a guy who says being a stay-at-home dad sounds like a good idea.
4. Never accept a date via Facebook message. (Well, maybe if you are really, really, really infatuated with him and will therefore take anything you can get.)
   
5. On the first date, allow the guy to talk for a couple minutes without interruption. If you are bored, this is also the last date. Your boredom will only worsen over time.
6. Go ahead—give him a kiss, unless you have already violated rule 1. In that case, go home. Do not pass Go, do not collect $200.
7. Shoulder massages are apparently more erotic than you would think. Allowing a guy to give you one is, in his mind, like making out or something.
8. Even if you do not always follow the guests-out-by-midnight rule with your guyfriends, always follow it with your boyfriend. It is just a good idea for the sake of your own sanity. You also might get notes like this one from Passive Aggressive Notes if you do not follow the rule.
9. We have all heard about NCMO, but NCC (non-committal cuddling) is almost as fun while being much more sanitary and much less slutty. Ward movie nights are great NCC opportunities.
10. If a guy you are not interested in keeps pursuing you, make a sign that says "I'm not interested" and post it by the phone. The next time he calls to ask you out, just read the sign. If he is really persistent, stop taking his calls, answering his Facebook messages, and talking to him in person. Some guys are so deluded that they mistake politeness for flirting.