Yesterday I went to the local Church Employment Resources office (helpful) and the Clark College Career Center (less helpful). Then I sent in two applications for jobs that I found on the Internet (less helpful). What I should have done today instead of rewatching Veronica Mars was go to Portland State and the University of Portland to beg for a job (more helpful).Last night when the nausea came again, I realized that I'm terrified. I'm not as much terrified of not finding a job as I am of finding one. So I am asking myself, what is my frikkin' problem? What about finding a job is so scary? I used to do new things and put myself in new situations all the time, so why did I decide to freak out now?
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