The Time I Was Married to the Son of a Mafia Don

Last night I dreamt that I was married to the oldest son of an Italian mob boss. My husband and I lived in an Italian mansion with his younger brother and his wife and their parents. Even though my father-in-law was large and Italian and wore pinstriped suits, my mother-in-law was the real boss of the mob operation and of the house.

There was some kind of rivalry between me and my brother-in-law's wife. She had two children, and I didn't have any. She liked to wear shiny teal dresses.

One evening, after a big Italian dinner, my father-in-law called a meeting, which his wife conducted. The whole household sat on rustic-style couches in a whitewashed room decorated with bougainvillea and a stone fountain in the center of the red tile floors. My mother-in-law told us that since my husband's sister, Belisama (Thanks, The Sims 3: Late Night!), had moved out, she was giving her old room to my brother-in-law and his wife. My husband and I felt slighted because we should have gotten the room, as my husband was the heir to the mob family. However, my husband and I simply looked at each other and thought these things. I felt bad that I hadn't been able to get pregnant yet because my mother-in-law was obviously slighting me for it.

After my brother- and sister-in-law got the room, we all went to the room to check it out. It was beautiful. The room was connected to a courtyard that was full of gurgling fountains and vines and flowers. Looking up, I could see the clear sky filled with stars. I shivered and buttoned my cardigan—it was a cool night but not chilly. A large bed was under a wooden awning covered in vines. One could lie on the bed and fall asleep to the sounds of birds and bubbling water.

"What if it rains?" I asked no one in particular. Then I saw a little shelter with another bed and a door to a beautiful bathroom. This should be mine, I thought, and then I woke up.