Holy crap, I'm so bored.

My life is so boring. Sometimes I really want to experience a psychotic break so that I can do all sorts of risky, interesting things and not be responsible for them. Or I could join the CIA and use my Arabic for spying so that I could adopt another persona. Except the CIA's actually pretty boring too, and if I joined it, I'd have to support our nation's geopolitical agenda, which I don't.

A Couple Dreams about The Office (US)

Angela and I watch the American The Office nearly every evening in syndication. However, for the past two weeks, I've only seen it twice. Therefore, my Office-deprived brain invented dreams to fill the gaps.

The first dream was set around the end of the fifth season, probably because the last episode I saw was "Cafe Disco". In the dream, I was a member of the office staff, and we were all going to witness Jim and Pam's impromptu wedding. The problem was that everywhere we went, they couldn't get married. First, we loaded into our cars and caravaned to a church, but the vicar had already gone home for the day. Then they tried to get married at a public park, but that didn't work either. Finally, we all went to this super-high range department store (the kind with plush carpet and live music), where the manager was supposed to marry Jim and Pam. Unfortunately, the manager could not be found. We looked for the manager so long that the store closed with all of us in it. Then we raided the little department-store café because we were hungry. Andy turned on some music, and we had a dance party in the darkened store.

Another night, I dreamt that I had moved to the Midwest with my brother, who is also named Jim. Jim (my brother) and I went ward-hopping through all of the YSA wards in the area. To get to some of them, we drove for two hours. I was trying to get to know all of the people (okay, men) in the different wards, but it was hard because I was trying to also keep an eye on Jim, who was trying to get to know all the thin blondes in the different wards. One of the wards had a Halloween-in-June celebration, where they handed out ghost-shaped Peeps that they had bought last Halloween especially for the June party. Not surprisingly, the Peeps were hard.

The The Office part of the dream came when I went to work in Independence, Missouri, which I could not do until I flew over an imaginary, gorgeous Independence in a virtual tour of the fictional Mormon Quarter. A river bisected the city, and it was filled with neoclassical architecture (Monticello-type buildings). Basically, it was nothing like the real Independence, Missouri, of which my impression was sticky, dirty, and oppressive when I visited a few years ago.


Anyway, when I got to work, it was populated by the staff of The Office, except there was this very large and muscular woman. Michael asked me to fire her for him, and when I tried to, it was just like when David Brent fired Alex in "Judgment" and Michael tried to fire Creed and actually fired Devon in "Halloween", with a little bit of Michael and Dwight trying to choose a health insurance plan in "Health Care", except the woman stood up and walked into my personal bubble, threatening my with her bulk. She was yelling, "How am I supposed to provide for my kids?!" and telling me it wasn't fair. She got so scary that I wanted to call the police, but Michael told me not to because he didn't want the bad publicity. I was afraid she was going to come back with a gun or something. After Dwight helped me get her out, Michael also asked me to tell the homeless man who was settled in front of the entrance to our building to move on. The man also was very belligerent, and I got no support from my coworkers. A normal day at The Office, then.